Rejection is Redirection (and Other Things I Tell Myself When The Sting Hits)

This week, I got ghosted by a client.

No message. No explanation. Just silence.

And even though I knew it probably wasn’t about me, it still stung.

Rejection always does.

It doesn’t matter how emotionally intelligent, mindful, or “professionally mature” you are; it taps something ancient in the nervous system when someone pulls away. That fight-or-flight flare. That tightness in the chest. That spiralling thought loop:

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Should I have handled that differently?”

“Maybe I am too much…”

But here’s what I’ve learned both from my own work and from coaching dozens of brilliant, capable, wildly generous women:

Rejection often isn’t personal.

It’s an energetic mismatch, fear of communication, a boundary you didn’t realise you crossed or a boundary the other person didn’t know how to express.

It can also be protest, resistance, or a trigger that was never yours to hold.

When we don’t take the time to process rejection, we start editing ourselves.

We stop speaking up.

We shrink.

We overthink.

We say yes when we mean no.

And slowly but surely, we slip out of alignment with ourselves.

So here’s what I did instead:

I walked the dog. I cried a little. I took three deep breaths and moved my body. I phoned a friend.

And then I asked myself:

• What am I making this mean about me?

• What part of this actually belongs to me?

• What support do I need to come back to myself?

These questions, this inner leadership, is the real work.

The quiet, powerful restorative work that helps us stay centred even when things wobble.

It’s the rest part of work, rest and play that no one talks about: the part where you don’t push through. You pause. You feel. You let your nervous system recalibrate.

Because here’s the truth:

Rejection might be protection. It might be redirection. It might be information. But it is never a definition of your worth.

Let it teach you.

Let it guide you.

And then get back to what you’re here to do, with even more self-trust than before.